“People don’t change much, and you certainly can’t be the one to change them. There’s an old saying:” A leopard doesn’t change its spots.” What this means is that people basically continue to have the same sort of behavior patterns and personalities throughout their lives. And yet Earth Angels are constantly disappointed and surprised by this.” Dr. Doreen Virtue
TIP 7: HAVING STRONG BOUNDARIES
Having good boundaries makes you magnetic. People find you interesting and do not take you for granted as well as finding you fun to be with.
We earth angels sometimes find that we need to develop boundaries in order to respect ourselves. Strong personal boundaries is part of taking care of ourselves. Each one of us is unique and although we are all connected to each other and to the energies of life, we need to hold on to our individuality and to protect our own personal energy fields. The most effective way to protect ourselves is to be completely clear – to ourselves and others around us – regarding our own individual essence, our unique identity.
To establish strong boundaries we need to spend quiet time listening to our intuition because it will tell us what is right for us. This involves ‘opening up’ to our own feelings and senses. We need to practice sensing the difference between truth and self-deception. We do this by carefully observing how our body reacts whenever we make a decision – soon – we know immediately when we have made the right choice for ourselves. The body never lies. Your own body is the best barometer of your truth. If you have a disease (dis-ease) your body is trying to communicate something to you that you have not acknowledged on the emotional, mental, or spiritual level and your body is now signaling that it is time to dis-cover your truth. A choice that is right for you (you not others!) will make you feel strong and a choice that is wrong for you, or not completely right, will make you feel weak or generate other signs of what we often call “nerves.”
We need to open up our throat chakras and give voice to our thoughts and feelings very clearly and assertively – this does not mean being overbearing, narrow-minded or dogmatic – and we need to follow our own daily intuition to establish our own identity. Doing this creates etheric boundaries for all of our bodies – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. A highly effective barrier is then created between our own energy field and the energies of other people and the environment.
Many of us earth angels grew up believing that ‘rescuing’ is a normal part of all relationships. Being so empathetic (feeling everyone’s emotions) we often have difficulty sorting out our own emotions from those of others around us. Because we feel the pain of others and also have a desire to help everyone become happy – we are natural ‘rescuers’. This is fine in the workplace such as if we are a paramedic, fire-fighter or such; however, when we jump in and ‘rescue’ someone who is capable of rescuing himself/herself then we are enabling which means we are taking away from that person their opportunity to learn, grow and evolve.
If ‘rescuing’ is part of our job description, as it is for certain professionals and first-responders then we earth angels get to help strangers, which we love to do. However, we earth angels do need to maintain strong boundaries in order that we do not continue to rescue what Dr. Doreen Virtue calls “professional victims.” Doreen always recommends that when we feel the compulsion to rescue someone that we pray for Divine guidance first. “Professional victims have endless drama and bottomless-pit needs that can never be filled. They’re ungrateful for the help they get, and in fact they criticize it.” (ASSERTIVENESS FOR EARTH ANGELS)
When we do not establish strong boundaries in our relationships they become very unbalanced. We can also become confused, frustrated and drained by people who take advantage of our sweet earth angel natures. Remember however not to swing to the opposite pole because there is a big difference between assertive and aggressive. Doreen defines assertiveness for us: ” Assertiveness means that you’re aware of your feelings and opinions and that you state them to others in a way that respects other people’s rights. An assertive person is kind, peaceful, and gentle yet never apologizes for his or her feelings, because feelings are to be honored and respected.”
Having boundaries means we can express ourselves with confidence rather than resorting to any passive, aggressive or manipulative behavior which is very un-magnetic to our positive dreams and very magnetic to harsh and toxic energies.
Love & Light, Monica