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“Gaslighting is an elaborate and insidious technique of deception and psychological manipulation, usually practiced by a single deceiver, or ‘gaslighter’ on a a single victim over an extended period. Its effect is to gradually undermine the victim’s confidence in his own ability to distinguish truth from falsehood, right from wrong, or reality from appearance, thereby rendering him pathologically dependent on the gaslighter in his thinking or feelings.”   Brian Duigan , Encyclopaedia Brittanica 

The Angels today have guided me to discuss a 3D reality. Gaslighting. It is an assault on truth. While gaslighting has been around perhaps forever, one of the masters of gaslighting, as apparent to me and millions of others is Donald J. Trump, the former President of the United States who was able to gaslight 74 million people in the United States into believing that climate change and Covid-19 are minor if not non-existent problems. No small negative achievement right? He used a combination of techniques but the underpinning was an assault on truth. He did on a grand scale what some of my clients over the past 15 years have experienced on an individual level. It is the individual level that I wish to discuss today as I often find out in my practice that gaslighting is so insidious and difficult to distinguish because as a counsellor friend said to me “It is like when you see the tip of an iceberg. You see so little of what is happening on the surface.”

I am writing about this form of assault on truth from the perspective of a trained psychiatric nurse and as an Angel Therapist(R) who has helped clients identify what is happening to them and helped them to understand that they are experiencing a form of emotional abuse. My clients are almost entirely women, and largely young women, and it is my anecdotal experiences gleaned from clients that convince me that as women creep closer to equality within patriarchy – and as physical abuse is largely no longer condoned (at least in North America) that some men are finding gaslighting to be an option for abuse which is more likely to fly under the radar of even some trained professionals. I also feel that Trump gave us all a huge template to follow if we are so inclined. This is my opinion. However, although I have not read the book called Gaslighting America: Why We Love It When Trump Lies to Us by Republican Amanda Carpenter – the title rings true. As does the title of an article called Donald Trump is a classic gaslighter in an abusive relationship with America in USA Today by Stephanie Sarkis. Although he is no longer president, CPAC recently created a golden statue in his likeness and his followers still believe the big lie that he won the recent election and that Joe Biden is not the ‘real’ president.

When you are being gaslighted, whatever your reality is – it will be questioned. All gaslighting techniques have in common that they make you question your reality. Whereas with Trump, due to his place on the world stage,  the issues are big issues and the lies are big lies, in an individual relationship it is likely to be relatively smaller issues and smaller lies, although this can escalate as can any form of abuse. I watched Christina of Common Ego on You Tube and found her information thought provoking. She says that gaslighting victims often move through 3 stages and not always in a linear fashion: disbelief, defense, depression.  She says the disbelief phase is when you think “It must be unintentional, they don’t mean anything by it.”  Sometimes it is actually unintentional. Often it isn’t. The defense stage is when you try to use logic and you lose certainty and start to believe the gaslighter and the depression stage is when it starts to eat away at your self-esteem.  Obviously, this is a complex issue and the intention in this blog is not to go into it in depth. I am not a psychologist. However, with the Angels I do get a bird’s eye view of gaslighting as I do readings for my clients. And as a former psychiatric nurse I do have a background in mental health that serves me and my clients well. However, I also refer my clients to qualified psychotherapists as well.

Common Ego, should you decide to check it out as one resource among many, gives you some examples of phrases you might hear frequently from an individual who is gaslighting you: “You are too sensitive. Everything bothers you.” (trying to get you to back down, then you start comparing yourself to others); “I didn’t say that. I don’t recall saying that.” (you wonder if your memory is beginning to fail) ; “I’m not angry.” When they clearly are. ; “It’s all your fault.” (If you weren’t so sensitive, I would have been able to tell you I… if you could handle it.) ; “You’re broken.” (You are not whole.  Make you feel you are not enough. Nobody’s going to love you.); “This is why nobody likes you.” (This uses other people and makes you think that others feel the way your abuser does); “You’re petty.” (Covert and overt narcissists use this – they do small things consistently and you have so many conversations about it and they do it purposely – then you blow up and they sit back and say “Wow, you’re petty.”; “You can’t take a joke.” example – mean pet names they laugh over and they say – “you have no sense of humour.” ; “If you really loved me you’d …”  These are some common phrases.

You will dis-cover this year of 2021 that revelations, disclosures and truth is a theme. There will be assaults on truth. There will be surges of energy. We are being upgraded as every cell in our body is receiving more and more photonic light. It is an amazing time to be on Earth; however, on a 3D level it is also a grueling time says astrologer Pam Gregory and a “fork in the road” time as we all outgrow old mental structures and keep moving forward. Pam suggests that you pay great attention to your dreams and before you fall asleep tonight say “Show me the next step please.”

Hang in there lightworkers, no one said becoming a quantum human was going to be a cakewalk.  Work with the new revolutionary energy and be a warrior of light.

Angel Blessings,   Monica

 

Join the discussion 2 comments

  1. Gillian March 6, 2021 at 3:14 pm Reply

    Yes and, if possible, don’t engage with the gaslighter! Any one of their “you can’t take a joke” phrases can be met with a neutral, “Is that so?” or “I’ll have to think about that” or, the all time best, “You might be right” then walk away. The gaslighter/psychopath/manipulator feeds on our reactivity so that they can seem sensible. Let’s not give it to them no matter how tempting! And if you do, forgive yourself immediately and NEXT time haul out the neutral phrases. I’ve even used Hamlet effectively: Lay not that flattering unction to your soul/That not your trespass but my madness speaks. 🙂 Timely blog post, Monica.

    • Monica March 6, 2021 at 3:34 pm Reply

      Thanks for adding some very helpful advice!

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