“You can heal your whole life by healing your father wounds.” Andrew Karpenko
Did you listen this past week to Doreen Virtue and Andrew Karpenko discussing father wounds during the World Angel Summit? If you did not hear that fascinating and valuable discussion then I believe you will find this blog of value and if you did hear it, it will be a review for you of an interesting and much neglected topic within metaphysical circles. We are all aware of the necessity of healing our mother wounds and most of us will likely agree that it is widely discussed and there is no dearth of information or workshops about the wounds from our mothers. Most of us, if not all of us, are aware that healing parental wounds is of great importance if we are to manifest the life of our dreams – regardless of our age or various life circumstances.
Doreen Virtue (with whom I trained in California as an Angel Therapist(R)) was a traditional psychotherapist before she created Angel Therapy(R) when she dis-covered that working with angels during psychotherapy with her clients helped them to heal so much more quickly. Eventually she gave up her psychotherapy practice in order to teach others how to communicate and work with angels and she did this all over the world – travelling and teaching for the past 25 years and writing 70 books and producing a myriad of oracle cards. She has just announced her last in-person training programme coming up this year in Australia and after that she will not be travelling and will only be teaching on-line. I am so grateful that I was able to train in person with her. Andrew Karpenko I have not met, so my introduction to him was through listening to his discussion with Doreen; however, he is a practicing social worker with an MSW and works in mental health management and his energy is nurturing and delightful. He and Doreen have a book coming out this year (not released yet) called FATHER THERAPY so if you are still working on your father issues, as many of us are, then it would be worth your time to read it. If you have healed all your father issues then you may be able to recommend it to someone who could benefit greatly from reading it.
During his discussion with Doreen at the Angel Summit Karpenko defined father wounds in terms of 3 specific areas: abuse, neglect, and the absent father. Karpenko uses his skills and knowledge from healing his own father wounds as well as his formal social worker education,training and experience along with the help of angels to help people to heal their father wounds. He says that working with the angels adds another dimension to healing. Karpenko therefore blends his professional skills and knowledge to provide an integrated approach to overcome and heal our deep-rooted emotional wounds from our father or father figures.
Karpenko talked about the various ways that our father wounds show up such as lack of confidence and self-esteem and difficult patterns regarding employment and relationships to name a few. I was particularly impressed with Karpenko’s frank assertion that whether these wounds can be completely healed or not depends on the level of trauma. He feels that for some people these wounds can be “neutralized if not completely healed.” He talked about “the tapestry of life” and how these wounds might be neutralized so as to become a small dangling golden thread of this tapestry. He advises psychotherapy for those of us who have suffered severe father wounds especially if we experience disassociation. Less severe wounds may be healed completely; however, he reminds us that our soul is always pure, perfect and whole. Our egos often respond to father wounds with “acting out” in a variety of ways – such as stuffing down our feelings with food or numbing them with alcohol or being rebellious in a variety of ways and says that if we are part of a blended family we might be comparing our lives to that of the old fictional television show “the Brady Bunch” and therefore judging ourselves too harshly. He asks us to examine our patterns to see where father wounds might be playing out and by being compassionate with ourselves we are likely to become much more compassionate with others.
Both Doreen and Karpenko note the importance of a father figure and how today we expect much more of fathers than in ‘the old days’ when, as Karpenko says, “Dad was only needed to bring home a paycheck.” He says that “gender roles don’t really apply now – now it is person by person.” Although having a good therapist is important (not all therapists are equal) Karpenko says a loving family and circle of friends can really help but often people do not have that support and therefore reaching out to their spiritual support team (angels, ascended masters, guides) helps them to heal. In my own work I have found that to be true.
Doreen asked Karpenko which of the angels he works with and recommends to help people heal their father wounds and I was happy to see that each of the angels he mentioned are ones that I have written a blog on – so if you are unfamiliar with them please check my previous blogs as it is very easy to scroll down by blog titles. Archangel Michael is the first angel Karpenko mentioned and he talked about cutting etheric cords to fears (which I teach all my clients to do) which can remove or begin to remove the etheric chains that bind us. In fact, both Doreen and Karpenko suggest teaching children about how Michael protects them and suggests that perhaps putting a picture of Michael in their room ( or another angel) can help them with avoiding nightmares and such.
Karpenko suggests that we often look to father for approval and so if we do not have that approval we may be looking for it in our relationships. If our family is dysfunctional and yet we choose to see them – then he suggests a time-out if we begin to regress! Doreen laughed at this and confessed that she has done this in the past – haven’t we all?!!
Last week I wrote about Archangel Gabriel and how she can help our inner child with parental/authority wounds. Karpenko also invokes the help of Gabriel to nurture our inner child. I always ask Gabriel to help my clients re-parent their inner child if that is advisable. Karpenko does this also as he says that when we have “emotional flashbacks” we can experience a sense of hopelessness or powerlessness or awkwardness and might really not be aware of what is happening. When we find ourselves in this space then we can also call in Archangel Jophiel to help us get into a loving space and lift our mood and thoughts. She helps us to open our heart to ourselves (smelling a rose or using rose essential oil also helps). When experiencing an emotional flashback we need to remind ourselves that this is in the past – it is not happening NOW. If you do experience disassociation – which often occurs with a very traumatic upbringing it is always wise to seek good therapy however holding a grounding stone (I use black obsidian) is helpful as is breathing deeply. Karpenko is realistic – as he says – “let’s face it – earth can be a harsh place.”
Do you have any addictions? Many of us do. Some of these can be due to unhealed father wounds. Some of us do a lot of emotional eating as we try to ‘stuff down’ our emotions, thereby using food as a medication. My psychic mentor, Grace, and also Doreen, used food at one stage of their lives in an attempt to quash their psychic abilities. I totally ‘get that’ and I am certain that you do too! They felt, like many of us do – that having an extra layer or two of flesh could protect them from harsh energies. Doreen stopped her emotional eating long ago and has written much about this in order to help others – in fact I believe that her first book, which was her published doctoral dissertation, was called LOSING YOUR POUNDS OF PAIN. Others of us use alcohol in an attempt to ‘numb’ ourselves but we find that when we attempt to ‘push things away’ they rebound on us. It is advisable for us to invoke Archangel Michael and ask for his help to face our fears head on and to see our body as a temple and to honour it and ourselves.
Father wounds can actually leave gaps/tears in our auras as well as various wounds in our heart centers. Some of my work with my clients has involved repairing their aura tears with the help of the angels. My clients report a big difference after this energetic treatment. Gaps in our auras can leave us open to psychic attacks and affect our physical well-being. I would say that helping to heal my clients’ auras with the angels has been one of the many fulfilling aspects of my work. Aura gaps can be repaired; however, some people are unaware of the fact that they have gaps.
Just as Doreen does, and I do, Karpenko works with Jesus and Mother Mary. Karpenko likes to “take the religion out and thinks of them as Cosmic Figures.” He notes that they are actually non-traditional and give unconditional love, which I have found to be true. Karpenko acknowledges the fact that it is not necessarily easy to forgive abuse or abandonment or to create a new relationship but it is possible when you are able to “see through the eyes of the angels.” He says that our parents may have not ever been loved themselves and even though what they did may have been cruel or insane – we can forgive their soul – it is not necessary to forgive their actions; however, we must heal these wounds in order to be able to heal our addictions and/or destructive, unloving patterns. Korpenko tells us that we can heal our whole life by healing our father wounds and asks us to call on our angelic team for support and to employ the power of forgiveness to help us to heal from a painful childhood.
Light & Love, Monica