“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.” Elizabeth Gilbert
TIP 33: FEELING DESERVING
You must feel worthy of what you desire, and allow yourself to feel that you deserve love, joy, abundance and prosperity. You are worthy simply because you are – the Universe values you unconditionally, you are the one who questions your worth and therefore questions what you feel you deserve. The word “deserve “comes from Latin meaning “to serve well or enthusiastically.”
TIP 34: RECEIVE ABUNDANCE
The Universe gives to you infinitely, you are the one who limits what you are willing to receive. Open your heart and mind to allow yourself to receive abundantly.
Many of us dis-cover, as adults, that we have been unconscious regarding our lack of self-worth. Psychotherapist Daphne Rose Kingma explains:
“When as a child, you are subjected to repeated experiences of not having your needs met, it’s almost as though there is a little voice inside that says, “Maybe I don’t deserve to be cared for.” Although you may not pay much attention to the little voice the first time you hear it, each time you are neglected, disappointed or abused the little voice will keep repeating its message – until you finally believe that you really aren’t deserving of love.
Instead of being able to speak out on your behalf, and say, “Things aren’t right here, somebody should be taking better care of me,” the little voice starts picking on you, saying you don’t deserve the things you want and need. Instead of finding strength to speak out on your behalf, it, in effect, turns on you and says the reason you’re not getting what you need is that you don’t deserve it. Instead of defending you, or objectively observing the situation – your parents are too tired, too overworked or too unconscious to give you what you need – the voice starts attacking you. It blames you for lacking what you need.
This attack voice is the voice of you not loving yourself. It is all the critical words, judgments, dismissals, and put-downs you’ve ever heard, taken inside, and then spoken back to you, by yourself. It’s you, ganging up on yourself.
The attack voice is learned. It can be unlearned. The fact that at times it can get so loud that it seems like the only voice you can hear is all the more reason you need so badly to find another voice, your real voice, the voice that will honour you.” (WHEN YOU THINK YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH: THE FOUR LIFE-CHANGING STEPS TO LOVING YOURSELF)
We need to find our real voice. Our authentic voice. The voice that honours us. In finding our real voice we are also led to our birthright feeling of self-worth. The self-worth we had before we internalized the criticisms such as how stupid we are, how lazy we are, how fat we are, how skinny we are – lack of self-worth or lack of self-acceptance and self-honouring are other expressions of a lack of self-love. Louise Hay lists some of the ways we don’t love ourselves:
“We scold and criticize ourselves endlessly.
We mistreat our bodies with food, alcohol and drugs.
We choose to believe we are unlovable.
We are afraid to charge a decent price for our services.
We create illnesses and pain in our bodies.
We procrastinate on things that would benefit us.
We live in chaos and disorder.
We create debt and burdens.
We attract lovers and mates who belittle us.” (YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE)
Louise asks you, what are some of the ways that you do not love yourself? Please answer this, in detail, in your journal. Louise gives us further examples of a lack of self-worth:
“Our partner is tired and grouchy. We wonder what we have done wrong to cause it.
He takes us out once or twice and never calls again. We think something must be wrong with us.
Our marriage ends, and we are sure we are a failure.
We are afraid to ask for a raise.
Our bodies do not match those in Gentleman’s Quarterly or Vogue magazine, and we feel inferior.
We don’t “make the sale”, or “get the part”, and we are sure we are “not good enough.”
We are afraid of intimacy and allowing anyone to get too close, so we have anonymous sex.
We can’t make decisions because we are sure they will be wrong.” (YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE)
It may surprise you to realize that if you deny your Good in any way – it is an act of not loving yourself. Louise gives us an example from one of her clients. Let’s call this client, Zoe. Louise worked with Zoe – who wore glasses. One day Louise and Zoe released an old fear from Zoe’s childhood. The next day Zoe awakened to find that her contact lenses were bothering her too much to wear. Zoe looked around and found her eyesight was perfectly clear. However, Zoe spent the entire day saying, “I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it.” The next day she was back to wearing contact lenses. As Louise points out, our subconscious mind has no sense of humour. Zoe couldn’t believe that she had created perfect eyesight.
The bottom line is – there is only ever one problem, no matter what it appears to be. Lack of self-love is always the problem. Louise says: “I continue to explain that no matter what their problem seems to be, there is only one thing that I ever work on with anyone, and this is Loving the Self. Love is the miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. I am not talking about vanity or arrogance or being stuck-up, for that is not love. It is only fear. I am talking about having a great respect for ourselves and a gratitude for the miracle of our bodies and our minds.”
If you are experiencing any difficulties loving yourself or you know someone experiencing difficulties – then there are two books that I keep in my personal library that I recommend. I have just quoted from them both: WHEN YOU THINK YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH, by Daphne Rose Kingma & YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise L. Hay. These are life-changing books. For many of us – just reading them is not sufficient – we need to do the work!
I want to share one more example with you today from Louise, about a boy who learned to love and accept himself. Let’s call him Tony. Tony’s mother brought him to Louise when Tony was 15 years old and had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s dis-ease and told he had 3 months to live. As Louise relates, Tony’s mother was “understandably hysterical and difficult to deal with,” but Tony was “bright and clever and wanted to live.” Louise says that Tony was willing to do anything that Louise told him to do, “including changing the way he thought and spoke.” Tony’s separated parents were always arguing and Tony did not have a settled home life. Tony, Louise says, really desperately wanted to be an actor; however, the “pursuit of fame and fortune far outweighed his ability to experience joy.” Tony, “thought he could be acceptable and worthwhile only if he had fame.” Louise says, ” I taught him to love and accept himself, and he got well. He is now grown up and appears on Broadway with regularity. As he learned to experience the joy of being himself, the parts in plays opened up for him.” (pages 21-22)
Many of us find that we need to be taught how to love ourselves. The angels teach me this every day. And now I help the angels teach others to love and accept themselves. If our parents did not love themselves, then how could they have possibly taught us something that they did not know? As Louise, herself abused as a child, says, “Those people who did all that stuff to you” were just as frightened and scared as you are.” Louise has found that the inner belief for almost everyone she has worked with is always the same: “I’m not good enough.”
If we do not feel worthy or “good enough” then we may self-sabotage the work that we are doing with the Law of Attraction. Often, we do this because we are unaware of our feelings of a lack of self-worth. This feeling of a lack of self-worth may cause us to ignore the knowledge we have regarding creating our Good because we do not feel we deserve peace, friendships, glowing health, true love, beauty, financial security and career success etc. in our lives. Fortunately we need only to change our minds in order to attract our Good. We need to love ourselves enough to ask for what we want and then allow it into our lives. I find that some of my clients were blocked at the ‘allowing’ part. If you are having difficulty with the Art of Allowing, so crucial to creating your best life, then I suggest that you read a book that I keep on-hand in my personal library for myself to refer to and my clients. It is entitled THE AMAZING POWER OF DELIBERATE INTENT: LIVING the ART of ALLOWING. (The Teachings of Abraham (R)) by Esther & Jerry Hicks. If you are not receiving personal coaching in the Art of Allowing – then you can learn from this book how to close the vibrational gap between where you are and where you wish to be. The manifestation/s follow within Divine Will, Divine Timing & Divine Order.
Please read or re-read my previous blogs called “Self-Honouring Choices” (September 18, 2013) and “Self-Love” (May 28, 2015)
Louise says: “This is a time for healing, for making whole, not for condemnation. We must rise out of the limitations of the past. We are all Magnificent expressions of Life. Let’s claim that now!”
You deserve to receive. Allow your Good. Open your mind and heart and receive abundantly.
Love & Light, Monica