Not Broken: Awakening
“There is a wonderful story about a guru and his cranky disciple. Both were getting on in years, and they happened to be sitting one afternoon in a cramped, dingy room waiting for someone to bring them food.
“Why are you different from me?” the disciple grumbled. “We’re just two old men sitting here waiting impatiently for our dinner.”
“That’s true,” the guru said.
‘We see the same room,” the disciple went on. “We live in the same world. There’s no difference at all.”
The guru shook his head. “You say we live in the same world, but we don’t. Your world is private; no one else can enter it. It is made of personal memories, desires, feelings, and dreams. My world is not private but open to all. It is eternal and unbounded. Nothing exists in it that I claim as my own. Wherever I look I see love, trust, truth, eternity.”
The disciple still complained. “If your world is so much better than mine, why do you even bother to be here?”
“Because your world is only a dream,” the guru said quietly. “And it gives me pleasure when someone wakes up.” (told by Dr. Deepak Chopra, AFTERLIFE EXPERIMENTS)
For the majority of us awakening is challenging. However, more so if as a child we learned to shut down our emotions because they were considered inappropriate. Letting go of our emotional baggage is not easy. We tend to like to be the victim and often create the stories of our lives around our victimhood – giving us an identity. Who would we be without our wounds? If we identify as an incest survivor, rape survivor, cancer survivor, survivor of divorce etc., while this is definitely true, building our identity around these labels continues our victimhood. We may continue to survive – but will we thrive?
As we go through our own very individual process of awakening, we also experience symptoms and experiences common to many. I have had quite a few clients over the last decade who have come to me because they do not know what is going on with them and they think they might be “going crazy.” They are not. The Angels direct these clients to me so that I can help and support them through their awakening. I know what they are going through and now have over a decade of hands-on experience so to speak helping others continue to peel away their conditioned layers of reality. I understand the sometimes short transition period between the highs and the lows we call emotional fluctuations and the flickering (going back and forth between spiritual states) that continues until our emotions begin to even out. Once these emotions (energy in motion) are understood to be part of the bringing into consciousness traumas and issues long submerged – they can be worked with systematically – releasing each emotion, trauma and experience as they come up for surrender. I work with my clients to help them get past those first few layers of conditional reality (these contain the energies of self, family, ancestry, and their past lives); however, as we proceed past those initial layers – we find that the deeper layers can also be quite emotional and for some a bit overwhelming. And yet, often less difficult to process than the personal ‘stuff.’
As we continue to peel the onion, we go back and forth between spiritual states in a non-linear and highly unpredictable fashion which can be disconcerting to ourselves and others if we are unaware that we are ‘awakening’. Over time our emotional fluctuations do smooth out however we need to be willing and courageous enough not to get ‘hooked’ back into our story as it is such a soft place to land. Familiar territory. If we continue to allow the energies to clear we free ourselves of these fluctuations. There are some of us who have events in our pasts that are just too traumatic to handle alone. We require professional counseling and/or energy work. At times we may find ourselves medicated, while not ideal, sometimes it is actually necessary for a period of time – provided we are under the care of a qualified physician. This is, naturally, a far better option than self-medicating with alcohol or street drugs. I have had a few clients who were medicated before they or their doctors knew they were awakening. I recommended that they not remove themselves from their medication, but, to discuss with their physician as to possibly aiming to decrease their medication as our work together progressed and I am pleased to report that their doctors agreed and they are both off all medication and no longer feel “crazy.” It is a journey though and patience is a virtue. Enlightenment itself is a journey – not a destination.
As we awaken we may experience a variety of physical symptoms. Not everyone does but a significant proportion of us do. I want you to be aware of this so that you are not alarmed if it occurs with you. The symptom I personally experience during a major ‘shift’ is fatigue. I am usually a bubbly person with a lot of energy; however, while shifting I often feel exhausted. The exception to this is when channeling Angels in which case Their energy lifts me above everything including my fatigue. Fatigue is a very common symptom. Working through numerous conditioned layers of reality is work! Work often unrecognized and misunderstood in our culture while honoured and valued in so many others. It requires conscious effort and also the energy of processing. Our Western culture is materially oriented and still a neophyte regarding metamorphosis. Also, we are fatigued because we are required to go through this process while also caring for children, spouses, friends and homes and also often a full-time career. Just reading that last line makes me want to put my feet up and relax! No wonder so many women in the 1970s that I cared for while a nurse on the psychiatric ward came in with a diagnosis of depression and gratefully took their valium – they just wanted time to rest and in those days it was the only way to get it. Look after your body very well. It is always important but even more so during a transformation while you are processing so much. Also, learn to practice compassion for yourself (a very different energy from self-pity!) and that will inevitably lead you to a much greater compassion for others. Everyone is doing the best they can with whatever resources they have currently.
Going from a sense of heightened awareness and sensitivity and then crashing back down again into the fatigue of ordinary consciousness does eventually even out completely. Even so – you may always, even awakened, feel the cycles of energy – because you are becoming more and more conscious of it. Being conscious that this is a sign of your success as you peel away your layers will help you to have acceptance and gratitude.
For many years I was involved long-distance in helping a close friend through her awakening as she simultaneously helped me through mine. Her predominant physical symptom was digestive issues. Again, not at all uncommon. She became obsessed with food and sometimes would eat a great deal and then be bloated and in pain and other times would feel there was nothing she could eat. Her doctor put her through every test she requested and there was nothing found. Through my many distant healing sessions with her over years – we uncovered layer after layer and one of the events she was unaware of that finally came to the surface to be cleared was a past life as an oracle in ancient times. During that lifetime that poor little person was isolated and almost starving. My clairvoyance showed me a straggly kid with skinny arms and legs and wild matted hair kneeling on a dirt floor waiting for scraps to eat. We traced much of her sudden obsession with food back to this past lifetime and also her own fears of her burgeoning psychic powers. I asked her – do you think your psychic powers (considerable!) are inextricably wound up for you with your feeling you might starve? Could that be why you feel you can not eat enough to sustain you? That is the kind of work we did together and what I do with my clients although I tread much more lightly with my clients. I ‘pull’ nothing out of my clients – I hold the space for them and let them open up at their own pace and bloom. As we awaken, we find our diet often changes. Using our ‘gut instincts’ (clairsentience) we often keep a food journal as we find our way to our own personal best way of eating. There is no one-size fits all. Consulting a dietician is very valuable if you need help. Some of us develop sensitivities to foods such as dairy, corn, wheat, soy and sugar. Some of us eliminate meat, alcohol, caffeine, as our body will no longer process those foods well. For me, I do not eat foods that block my psychic channels. I highly recommend that you read Doreen’s little book EATING IN THE LIGHT if you wish to know what foods block intuition.
So, here’s an amusing little anecdote for you. Headaches are a very common symptom of awakening. I never get them (although in my childhood I had migraines). However, yesterday, pondering what to write about today (the Angels gave me today’s topic) I thought to myself. Huh, I never get headaches. So, you already guessed! Immediately, I got a headache – LOL – be careful what you wish for. Instant manifestation. Headaches though are very common in those undergoing what is sometimes called a “top-down awakening”. Energy streams into the crown and third eye chakra and can become bottle-necked. It needs to be worked with and through. One of my lovely Reiki students gave one treatment of Reiki to a friend experiencing headaches. It cleared immediately and her friend was so amazed that she also signed up with me to train. Currently they are taking their Reiki Master training with me and it is so fulfilling for me to see these two amazing young women who are becoming Reiki Masters. But, I digress. There are many modalities other than Reiki that can help with headaches. Meditation, bodywork and acupuncture are some of them. Allow your body to tell you why the headache is there. Obviously, consulting an energy worker and getting them to help you move your energy downward is one possible solution. Sometimes, though – being a person who always gets headaches is part of one’s identity.
Eye symptoms are also common and over my ‘shifts’ I have experienced these. Others I have spoken with have also. Eyes, as we know, are the windows of the soul. This is why a person may not let you look directly into their eyes. So much information! Our eyes usually show our wounds. They also show our awakening/s as we fill with light. I chose both of my Reiki Masters by the light coming out of their eyes. Dazzling. If you are experiencing a “clairvoyant awakening” (there are so many types of awakenings) eye symptoms are very usual. They are as a result, often, of a “top-down” awakening. Eye pain can be severe. It should always be reported to your physician. However, it is not unusual to experience eye pain during a clairvoyant awakening if your third eye previously was almost entirely closed down. For me, when Doreen directed the opening of our third eyes during our Angel Therapy(R) training – I felt only a tingle. That is what most of my clients also experience. Other symptoms can include: floaters, astigmatism, cloudiness, a film over the eye/s. Most of these eye symptoms dissipate rapidly after we identify what it is that we are ‘afraid to see.’
Other symptoms of awakening may include ear ringing, autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia, NDEs (near-death-experiences) and “mystery illnesses.” Obviously, we visit a qualified medical doctor to figure out our physical issues that worry us – however – following this the next step on the spiritual path may be a (w)holistic healer (such as myself). It is important to remember that there are physical, emotional and spiritual causative factors in illness and that caring for our bodies (the sacred temples of our souls) allows us to move through our changes with increasing awareness.
If you are a regular reader then you know I always recommend journaling. Especially a dream journal. There is so much to process during these times. Journal your experiences and feelings about them. It helps you to process. It also provides clues that are part of your puzzle. I would journal things such as sleep paralysis, astral projection, changes in behaviours and beliefs, anything you are releasing, initiations and sacred ceremonies, changes in Time and your expanding understanding of it, past life memories and snippets. These are all things you may possibly experience.
Sometimes, but more rarely, folks experience spontaneous movement and vocalization as part of awakening. Spontaneous vocalization I have only experienced once in a client and once, recently and briefly, myself! ( no one was with me but the Angels!) The other person I mention spoke in tongues – a bit dramatic – to say the least! Me – I did a few words about life as a Divine Comedy – already forgotten – as I was falling asleep at the time. It sometimes happens that those experiencing spontaneous vocalization will express through chants, tones or phrases. In rare cases, a language spoken in a past life may surface.
Spontaneous movement is a bit less rare, it seems, than spontaneous vocalization. I have witnessed this in only a few clients. One client, after a distant Reiki healing – got off her couch and went into spontaneous Yoga movements – she described it as like being a “rubber puppet” and could not control it. She had asked me for a treatment as she was experiencing difficulty walking due to leg and hip pain. Reiki is a divinely-guided self-intelligent energy directly from Source. This client experienced a release of blockages of energy and felt significantly better. Another client, after an Angel Therapy(R) session experienced a form of levitation. I recommend to all going through any shift or awakening that they keep energy flowing through gentle and frequent movement. Gentle Yoga, Tai Chi or Qi Gong are my go-to recommendations.
The whole point of this piece is to allay any fears you may have now or in the future about things you may experience as you awaken. This is one piece you may wish to print off and have somewhere handy – I am writing it for you because I could have used it myself many, many years ago! You will not likely experience all of these and you may experience none. There is not a right nor wrong way to awaken to your True Self.
Always check with your physician if you are concerned about any symptoms. Always best to be on the cautious side with your health.
We are accelerating rapidly now. Can you feel it? I am going to bet you can! The light continues to pour in as we ascend. Everything that is not Love – is coming up to be experienced, felt and then released. Weeping over the past is normal. We are in a new phase of our ascension. The ‘old’ does not fit into the ‘new.’ Shift any thoughts of illness to wholeness. We are not broken. We are awakening! Kara, the writer of the Ascension Notes states: “This is truly a wild ride and it takes one who is willing to detach and flow to be OK with all of this. In the old, we had certain structures to hold onto; it’s just the opposite in the New!” Allow yourself to grieve the passing of whatever is leaving. The old life. The old self. Allow the divine to flow through you – it is part of you – you are not separate from divinity. You are divinity.
If it looks strange to others – send them even more light and love. Go ahead. As Colette Baron-Reid (author of THE MAP) says “fly your freak flag.” Sometimes we do find ourselves alone for a time. But, we are never ever truly alone. Our Angels never leave our side and they love us unconditionally as does our Creator.
Love & Light, Monica
Join the discussion 1 comment
Gillian July 21, 2017 at 1:11 pm
Excellent! On the chance that it may help even one of your readers, here’s a list of “symptoms” that I’ve experienced: tinnitus; depression; sleep paralysis; headaches requiring codeine (stopped when I took up meditation); weird visual “flares” in my eyes (don’t look these things up on Internet, people!); painful tooth sensitivity and, of course, nightmares. My doctor’s a “medical hexer” so I don’t go much. I do see my optometrist and dentist regularly, though. My advice is eat breakfast every day and get walking 5-6 days/week. Good post.