“What if the act of waiting is keeping you from what you want?”   Nancy Levin

“Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very, long time.” Chinese Proverb

There were a couple of very intense years in my adult life when I attended two “I Can Do It” conferences – largely to see again one of my teachers, Doreen Virtue, another of my teachers, Sylvia Browne, and to watch Esther Hicks channel the spiritual collective known as Abraham. They were all wonderful, of course, they always are. I got to meet Louise Hay whom I have admired since my beginning days as a Hatha Yoga instructor over thirty years ago. However, a person called Nancy Levin captured my attention with her bubbly ‘vibes’ and her visible poise and calm demeanor. She was, at that time (no longer) the Event Director for Hay House who was putting on these conferences. She introduced the speakers and brought them water as well as all the other myriad of tasks large and small that would need to be attended to in order to make a conference run so beautifully, smoothly and apparently effortlessly.

At that time I was going through the break-up of my 35 year marriage after coming out of the Faery Circle at Doreen’s Angel Therapy(R) course and finding myself completely changed after a very powerful Shamanic release by California’s Steven Farmer. Needless to say, this has left me with more than a healthy respect for shamanism! The point in telling you this is that at that time, Nancy Levin was still married; however, not many years later, Nancy too went through a divorce (after 18 years) and transformation and she stopped being the Event Director and became a Life Coach and author and motivational speaker and wrote a book called JUMP…AND YOUR LIFE WILL APPEAR. She generously shared her journey with us her audience during an on-line talk and I took copious notes knowing that some day I would put them in a blog at the perfect time for you my cherished readers. I have not read the book, yet, however after listening to her talk a few years ago – I agree with her 10 steps as I had done all 10 myself before her book came out and so they rang true for me and it is my wish that they will be helpful for you as you make your way, bravely, toward your ‘new’ life. Change requires courage.

Easter is a time of new life. A time of resurrection. A new and deeper awakening. A good time to reflect on the deaths/losses in our lives and then to boldly go forward to claim the new. If we haven’t before, we look at our ‘shadow beliefs’ for clues to what Nancy says may be “driving our bus.” Why? Because not only were they probably developed by the age of 7 but these ‘shadow’ beliefs can result in us choosing relationships with others based on our wounds rather than our joys. Nancy says that these wounds with another “can be a match made in Heaven.” Of course, we all know that some of us made contracts to come together and heal together, every situation is unique. Nancy shared with us how many of us over-compensate for the belief that we are not loveable or that we are not enough. Be honest with yourself and write in your journal whether there still might be work to do regarding letting go of this over-compensation? Nancy’s over-compensation was trying to heal the grief of her parents for the loss of their son (her brother). She points out to us that “most of us are not really living from our own authentic agency.”

I have ‘dug up’ more than one over-compensation in my own life but I will share one with you now that I only did a deep excavation on (and was able to release) in 2011. I was in Bath, England, where in the Old Roman Baths, alone except for Archangel Michael, I was reborn. Before my rebirth I discovered what I needed to discover in order to completely let the ‘old Monica’ go. I was still a bit jet-lagged and trying to find myself around Bath where I had wanted to go for many decades and had never been. I wandered around and after eating one of the most delicious scones I have ever tasted (Sally Lunn’s Tea Room) I suddenly found myself in a courtyard and when I gazed up I was, inadvertently, in front of the Abbey at 11 a.m., November 11, 2011. I was there for the 2 minute silence and, for me, at that moment – the world stood still. I was at the Abbey for the Remembrance Day ceremony through serendipity. Suddenly I told someone beside me who was selling little wooden crosses that my Uncle Ian was killed in WW11 and then I absolutely dissolved into a puddle of tears to my own complete surprise! I had never known my uncle but had heard of him and thought of him my entire life. He was killed in Tunisia fighting for Britain at 19 years old. My mother never recovered from his death. As a baby I was wrapped in Uncle Ian’s dressing-gown and every birthday of Ian’s, the rest of her life, I could feel (as an empath) an overwhelming burden of grief. I bought a cross, I wrote his name on it and for my mother and family I placed it in the earth with the others – and then, I had an epiphany. I could now ‘let go’ of this burden that was never mine to carry! I had tried my whole life to make my mother happy – I never succeeded, of course, we can never make another person happy – we can only take responsibility for our own happiness. The Cross was placed – I had to let go of a burden of grief I was not aware I had about a person I had never even met! It felt like the weight of a myriad pails of water on my shoulders slipped away as I knew my mother was now with Ian and now, finally, happy. I was free. Free to exhale in the Roman Baths, the last of my ‘old life’ and to begin the new. The ‘old’ Monica died in Bath, England, and the ‘new’ Monica was born in Bath, England.  My ego-personality  at that time had no idea why I was in Bath; however, my soul did. All I did is what I have always done – I followed the intuitive bread crumbs dropped by my higher self. I teach my clients to follow theirs.

Are you prepared to live the rest of your life where you are living now? Nancy asks us. Answer honestly in your journal – be truthful with yourself – no one else will be reading it!  If the answer is yes – fabulous! I am sure you are making a wonderful contribution to your community and fully shining. Nancy says, “nothing matters except living in alignment with your truth.” However, if you feel you need to “rock your own foundation before it rocks you” then Nancy has her 10 steps to help you jump into your new life and to watch it appear.

(1) Admit to yourself what you already know.

(2) Tell the truth to someone who is safe. (If you have no one safe – see a therapist or counselor)

(3) Imagine yourself free. (fantasize about being divorced Nancy says and then you can see the fun things about being on your own) What is on the other side of the door if you are free?

(4) Make one different choice (helps you to come off autopilot) What one new choice would alter your course? It does not need to be big.

(5) Set new boundaries. (There is a big link between boundaries and self-care. When we have weak boundaries it is because we are bending over backwards to get love) Don’t abandon yourself for the sake of another – that happens when we think love comes from outside ourselves)Respect the boundaries of others.

(6) Ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. (Nancy reminds us that sometimes when we are in crisis we need to remind ourselves that “our best thinking got us here!”) Let yourself receive so others may give.

(7) Honour your resistance. We know that what we resist persists. You will move through things faster when you learn to hold the tension of opposites. When we expect to be fully in one direction or another we can wait forever!! When we are in alignment, no decision is wrong. Surrender/allow.

(8) Jump! Allow yourself to have new thoughts and new experiences and begin writing your ‘new story.’ The best way to predict your future is to make a choice! If you don’t tell the truth to yourself it always comes out sideways. Taking action re-organizes your OS (operating system).

(9) The Graceful Exit. Process the loss – very important. Whether it is the past or the future or both. Own your shadow aspects. We all have them.  At this stage you are both an ‘old’ you and a ‘new’ you and are neither ( we feel weird! a stranger to ourselves). Most of us have been used to bonding over our suffering (our Cross) now we bond over our success.

(10) Say yes, and say it again and again and again to what is in front of you. (How do you know if you are saying yes to the right things? You feel curious. You are both fearful and excited. Let go of your inner censor and let come up what you need to learn. “I am here in my fullness.”

Always be gentle and kind to yourself as you go through a transformation. Take baby steps. Trust. Be your own best friend and give yourself the time you need. Get support when you need it, because this is your scaffolding.  Give voice to your own truth. The Earth needs you to show up as yourself dear lightworker. That, and only that, is your true purpose. It is enough. You are enough. What are you waiting for?

Love & Light,   Monica      ( ps. My mother and Ian are happily reunited. Another psychic told me she sees them around me – “what a handsome young man your uncle is!”)