Alice fell down a hole. Like many people she was quite sure she was on solid ground; that is, until she wasn’t. She didn’t fall down an ordinary hole, but a door into another world.”   Daniel Doen Silberberg 

The Angels knew this blog called the Zen of Alice was coming many years ago.  Years before I had a baby granddaughter called Alice, years before I put a picture of Alice in Wonderland on my vision board, years before I sold Angel Cottage believing I was being guided to move into the city of Kingston. Because – the Angels knew that I would at this very time be moving into my friend and ex-husband’s house in Kingston as his friend and now as his care-giver until he recuperates from a heart attack and a subsequent quadruple bypass at Kingston General Hospital. I am thankful that part of my background includes being a retired Registered Nurse. Especially as he was sent home 4 days after surgery.

Dean, now under my 24 hour a day care for the next few months, has given me his permission to tell as much of his story as I wish to and is now settled for a nap while I write this. He has given his permission knowing that there may be someone out there who will benefit in one way or another from his most recent traumatic experience. I believe this is the case or the Angels would not be directing me to send this out. I am talking quantum time here too – I hear from people who sometimes read one of my blogs years after I wrote it and it had the information they needed to know or hear at just the right time. The Angels arrange this, of course, it is up to me to always follow my guidance because my blog is not just for this present time it is for future readers too. It goes out into cyberspace and when I finish writing blogs, when that day comes, the Angels will see to it that the person sees it who needs to. I know how this works. I know how they and I work together. I get requests from people who want to guest blog about a variety of subjects and it is difficult for them to understand that the Angels choose my topics and that I am just following their guidance as I go along. I didn’t know Dean was going to have a heart attack November 23rd, (his second – the last was 20 years ago) although I did have chest pains myself that day as I, as an empath and intuitive, feel others pain. I am used to it and I know when it is mine and when it is not. When I read for clients I pick up on their pain. That helps me with their reading.

Years ago the Angels directed me to a short little piece called The Zen of Alice. As a Yoga Teacher I often read magazines about Yoga. In 2009, 3 years after I became an Angel Therapist(R) in California, Daniel Silberberg wrote this piece and I cut it out and tucked it away feeling, one day, I would use it in some way.

So before I proceed on – please familiarize yourself with the symptoms of a heart attack when you finish reading this blog. You or a family member or friend may need to know this. I will tell you how Dean’s heart attack presented itself and how I knew to get him to the emergency department; however, everyone is unique. Knowing Dean since he was 25  and I was 20 (and he is now in his early 70s), I knew that there is only one time in his life when he refused to eat dinner – that was twenty years ago – nausea is a symptom and he was nauseated and only wanted chicken noodle soup and to go to bed early. I took his pulse and it was quite low and he was clammy and I asked about any chest pain. He said he didn’t have chest pain, but, he looked very pale. I said – no chest pain? He said, “well just a sensation.” Describe the sensation I said. He said, “it feels like a cloud all over the front of my chest.”  I gave him two aspirin and I got him to emerg. Always call an ambulance if you think someone is having a heart attack.

Women often have a different presentation when experiencing a heart attack. Years ago, when I was a nurse, we didn’t know that and many women were let out of the hospital emergency department and died because their symptoms, in a patriarchal culture, were based on research with only men. We know today that women often have very vague symptoms and they are misdiagnosed sometimes as heartburn problems when they are actually having a cardiac event. Not every person will experience all the symptoms and last time Dean had a heart attack the pain was in his back and again he didn’t call it pain but a “sensation.” A dime-sized sensation in his back. If you suspect someone is having a heart attack but are afraid of being wrong and calling for no real emergency – call anyway. If they are experiencing one there is a window of time for certain medical treatments and sometimes paramedics do the initial life-saving procedures in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

The heart is the emotional seat of the soul and the heart chakra is the 4th chakra of the most familiar 7 and is located between the three lower body chakras and three upper body chakras. This is where the physical and spiritual come together and is the core of our energetic frequency and the root of all emotional and energetic healing. When it is blocked it can have a negative effect on your spiritual, physical and emotional health. In the body this can be translated as poor circulation and blood pressure extremes.

There are some heart chakra healing techniques that I wish to share with you and then I will tell you what exercises I do for my heart chakra – which, mysteriously, I felt guided to do starting a few weeks ago as part of my Acu-Yoga practice. Here are some : (1) meditate (2) Work with the heart chakra colour which is green. Add this colour to your daily life in ways you feel guided to. I might choose green stones, clothes, plants, blankets. (3) Try a mantra. The mantra for the anahata is YAM. Chant this to heal both the spiritual and physical heart centre and open yourself up to unconditional love and compassion. (4) Affirmations for the heart: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself”; “I am wanted and loved.”; My heart is open to love”; “I forgive myself”; “I live in a state of grace and gratefulness.” Remember that cleansing and balancing all your chakras frequently is important for health. It is easy to do and I have written a previous blog about this. When your heart chakra opens you will feel an abundance of empathy, compassion and love and a balanced chakra allows us to be who we truly are – rather than attempting to mold ourselves according to the external expectations of others.

Each day I do 2 Acu-Yoga heart exercises. (1) Cross My Heart Pose: Sit with your spine straight. Place your right hand in your left armpit and vice versa. Close your eyes and feel your body. Meditate on your heart cave for a minute. (2) Calling To The Heart: Use sound to nourish your heart centre. Lie down in relaxation pose. Close your eyes. Relax. Inhale deeply. Exhale making the sound of “Yahh-mm.” Continue making the sound. Feel the vibration open up your heart cavity. I love this one! (Acu-Yoga, by Reed and Marco)

Dean is undergoing a transformation through a traumatic series of cardiac events. The heart attacks he has experienced resulted in the medical necessity for a quadruple bypass. While Dean admits his North American diet has been unhelpful for his heart, and that he does not walk nearly enough  and he admits to taking on way too much work at the office which is continual stress, his always cheerful, positive outlook, strength, and the fact he doesn’t drink or smoke are serving him well as he recovers from major open heart surgery where he was on a heart-lung machine.

I am Dean’s private duty nurse for awhile. Due to my training in alternative healthcare and having worked with the Angels for the past 13 years helping my clients undergoing transformations of varying kinds – I understand the many ways to heal on various levels. Dean’s journey we discuss together as moving from a Type A personality to a Type B personality – because that is the lingo Dean understands. I helped him come up with three mottos for the healing journey. One step at a time. One day at a time. Slow and easy does it.

At Dean’s side in hospital, due to his request I slept beside him in his private room. I was there when he awoke from a dream a few days after surgery about 4 a.m. and he told me this dream, and he says that I may share it with you now: He was dreaming of HUGE caterpillars of many different colours with very happy faces! They were going in and out of children’s tents, playing. He described a blue tent with white stitching. He was chuckling at how cute they are. I said, “It sounds like a really cool and fun dream” and Dean said: “I just remembered that caterpillar represents new life.” I replied, “It does indeed. A whole new life.”  He fell back to sleep.

We do not usually know when we are transforming what our new life will bring, only that when we eventually come out of the cocoon a beautiful butterfly – we will find our way toward the light.  I, of course, called in all the Angels from the moment I realized he was having a heart attack. I also asked Jesus, Mother Mary and many saints to be with him and numerous ascended masters and  we have the thoughts and prayers and Reiki and vizualizations from family as well that are on our team.

Dean, like Alice in Wonderland,  fell down the rabbit hole and has passed through open heart surgery into another world. Alice didn’t fall down an ordinary hole, but rather a door into another world. “As we follow Alice’s adventures on the other side of the door, we get the feeling that her previous life was a bit mannered, prescribed, and, well, boring. After she falls down the rabbit hole, everything changes. The rules take a sharp turn, they invert, and fade like a Cheshire cat’s smile. Nothing is ever the same again for Alice or for the reader.”

As Silberberg writes in The Zen of Alice: The way of Zen… takes us for a spin, creating a special kind of internal dissonance where the familiar harmonies and music don’t come as expected. It’s not that dissonance isn’t harmony; it’s just a different kind of harmony. To experience the truth and beauty of dissonant music, Alice has to give up her expectations and accept what is. If, like Alice, we give up our expectations, we may find that we can hear and see an alternative truth as well. We may even see ourselves clearly for the first time.”

At one point  after surgery Dean asked me what his pain medication was and I said “hydromorphone” and he said, “oh yes, because I am morphing.” And today he piped up after awaking from another nap: “I am taking a ride on Alice’s tramway. I am going somewhere. Somewhere very good.”

Our daughter, Hayley, named her daughter, Alice, after Alice in Wonderland, a childhood favourite book and movie. She has told me her childhood was magical and she hopes to allow her own Alice the adventures of a magical childhood. One day she told me while she was taking Alice out in her stroller a little boy of seven or so came up to Hayley and asked what the baby’s name was? My daughter said Alice and the little boy beamed at her, “Of course – from Alice in Wonderland.”  Everyone of us deserves a magical childhood and when we transform we get another chance to have one whether the initial one was magical or not. Never stop playing say the faeries.

Hayley left Alice with her babysitter today while she was out attending to things she could not do while her Dad was in the hospital. She was worried of course about her Dad and I was on the phone telling her he is doing amazingly well. The Angels look after him.  Later, she phoned me back and said she had a story to tell me. She stopped at Timmy’s to get herself and the babysitter each a coffee. When she got to the door with a coffee in each hand  – the door opened immediately. Of course she assumed it was the babysitter. However, the babysitter was sitting on the couch directly opposite and far away from the door –  with a smiling Alice beside her. I think Alice opened the door, but, maybe it was an Angel.  Hayley said to me – “I just called you to tell you – in case this is the way your blog is supposed to end.” And so it is.

Love & Light,   Monica     p.s. I will be able to do Angel sessions again early February and to those wanting Reiki and other sessions I am going to send you names of alternative healers if you have asked for an appointment and haven’t yet heard. Thank you for your patience.




Join the discussion 3 comments

  1. Gillian December 5, 2019 at 4:43 pm Reply

    Love that ending! Doors are very important in Alice in Wonderland too, aren’t they? The tiny door, the little key left on the table. There’s a line from The Tao Te Ching: The best doors require no locks. Thanks for sharing all these details, Monica, Dean, and Hayley.

  2. Joan December 5, 2019 at 6:25 pm Reply

    Thank you. The heart affirmations and exercise seems so appropriate this time of year. Please know that you, as well as your blog, are greatly appreciated.

  3. Gillian December 12, 2019 at 1:44 pm Reply

    I’d just like to say “hello” to Joan as a regular reader of Monica’s blog 🙂

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