“Shouting in anger, suffering with jealousy, and withdrawing in fear reflect WHAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN not who you are.”   Gary Zukav

You live and anchor most of your consciousness through your five senses attuned to the surface world, yet the origins of this surface-world life is in the stars. Therefore, if you are able to come back to your full spiritual nature, you must walk backward into the creative process for a re-introduction to the creative and spiritual forces that have always been at work in you , although hidden from full awareness by the seductive psychic anesthesia of human life… “Orion Foxwood


Over the last decade or so, since an Archangel swooped into my room and removed me from “the seductive psychic anesthesia of human life” I have been walking backward to innocence and helping other lightworkers to do the same. It would be an understatement to say that this has been challenging but also an understatement to say this is very rewarding. Please get up from your computer or put down your device for a moment and after checking around to see that you will be safe – walk backward for awhile.

Welcome to my world!

If you are a regular reader then you have likely been walking backward for awhile and I commend you for sticking with it and if you are just at the beginning stages of your transformation and return to innocence then you will benefit by the conscious realization that you are indeed learning to live in a world that you are co-creating with Spirit in every moment. Please be compassionate, patient and gentle with yourself as you get your sea legs in this new vast ocean of consciousness. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

During my Angel workshop last month when I was helping my clients open up to their own spiritual and intuitive gifts I dis-covered that there was some fear around enchantment. For me enchantment has always had nothing but positive associations so I listened very carefully. Especially as next month I will be facilitating a Faery circle in order to help people begin communication with the Faery Realm. We must be open to enchantment if we are to communicate with the elementals. Seeking answers on your quest for reconnection, in my experience, requires more than one visit to what I call the Land of Enchantment and what Foxwood calls “the Tree of Enchantment.” There is nothing to fear. Besides, do you not always ask Archangel Michael (the Universal bouncer) to be by your side? Foxwood asks you, “Have you looked into the eyes of your fear to identify your longing? … Do you meditate (relax and listen to the voice of spirit) and pray (speak and actively exchange with spirit) every day? If not, why and how are you removing obstacles?” (THE TREE OF ENCHANTMENT: ANCIENT WISDOM AND MAGIC PRACTICES OF THE FAERY TRADITION)

Part of our purification process is about bringing our awareness back into communion with the spirit world. This is challenging and can also, at times, be quite painful as we release the illusions we live by as ‘reality’ and fully embrace the ‘heroic journey.’ Our heroic journey leads us to we (ONE) and away from me (EGO).

I have written a number of pieces previously about how we have inherited many beliefs we live by through our family, culture, religion, social networks, and media. While our own Higher Selves and our Angels have tried to help us to dis-cover these deceptions – it is up to each of us to take 100% responsibility for allowing what Foxwood calls “these spells” (false truths) to hold us in spiritual bondage that drives us further into loss and loneliness.

As Spiritual Warriors the battle is always with ourselves. The way of the Spiritual Warrior is not for everyone. However, it is a path available for all who are willing to undergo its challenges . At times it is a path of radical aloneness (although our Angels never leave our side) and the journey is not short. Cultivating the ‘Watcher Within’ or the ‘Witness Self’ allows us to dis-cover the frightened parts of our personality in order to create authentic power (power to not power over).

Authentic power is using our will to transform our lives. We choose to use our will to make choices that empower us rather than disempower us. For example, as Spiritual Warriors we do not have to act in anger just because we are angry, nor do we have to emotionally withdraw just because we are jealous. We learn that we can make conscious choices that create consequences for which we are willing to assume responsibility. Even while angry. Even while jealous. This is the manner in which we draw strength from our choices rather than losing our power because of them. When we first begin to challenge some frightened part of our personality we will find that the Universe helps us by providing more and more opportunities to challenge it. For example, if we are deciding to challenge our anger – there will be a period of time where we will be faced with more and more things that anger us.  Friends who irritate and annoy us perhaps or gridlocked traffic and computer glitches and all sorts of things that stir up anger. We will be offered the opportunity to challenge our anger many times a day and each time that we challenge it – it loses its power over us and we gain power over it! We may not see this progress immediately; however, when we look back we definitely will. I find the teachings of Gary Zukav very valuable as in his body of work he gives us a clear map to authentic power. He explains how to challenge the frightened parts of our personalities and gives us what some might call a bit of ‘tough love.’ (He’s a former Green Beret) “Authentic power does not come to those who talk about it, read about it, meditate on it, or pray for it. It comes to those who earn it. When you have the courage to feel what you are feeling rather than act in fear, and then choose the intentions of your soul, you create authentic power.” (THE MIND OF THE SOUL) Zukav reminds us that we can accumulate no strength on the inside without making choices that stretch us: “Perhaps you can easily say no to watching television but can you as easily say no to sex, alcohol, shopping, gambling, eating or drugs, or to your rage, jealousy, and fear? All your inadequacies come to greet you on the spiritual path so that you can identify them and change them. Each is a form of powerlessness.”

Do not expect walking backward to be convenient in any way! I agree with Pema Chodron who writes: “When you start to take the warrior’s journey, you’re going to find that it is often extremely inconvenient. When you start to live your life fully instead of opting for death, you discover that life itself is inconvenient. Wholeheartedness is a precious gift, but no one can actually give it to you. You have to find the path that has heart and walk it impeccably. In doing that, you again and again encounter the inconvenience of your own uptightness, your own headaches, your own falling flat on your face. But in wholeheartedly practicing and wholeheartedly following the path, this inconvenience is not an obstacle. It’s simply a texture of life, a certain energy of life.” (COMFORTABLE WITH UNCERTAINTY)

We can employ our God-given Free Will to become the creator of our experiences rather than the victim of circumstances. To do this – we challenge the frightened parts of our personality and then we find that we are able to expand beyond what we might have ever believed possible. Foxwood has some negative spells (false beliefs) for us to look at to see if we are wearing “spiritual blinders and binders” that are keeping us in spiritual poverty because they are denying us access to all that the spirit world has to offer. Foxwood is only asking you to ponder these and is not trying to challenge any religious belief that you may hold but rather presents them as food for your thought and careful consideration:

“Humanity  is the only being with a soul and there are forces out to steal it.

Humanity is inherently broken and flawed because it has free will.

The spirit world is demonic and out to harm us.

The original vision of the Creator is primarily closed to us because we have free will.

Humanity is separate from the natural world and, thus, has the right to dominate it for its own exploitive purposes.

The world of flesh and form is in direct opposition to spirit and truth.

Humanity’s science, religions, or other belief systems really are immutable truths that determine whether something is real, or good, or evil.

Only gifted people can perform what are seen as miracles, magic, or contact with the unseen world.

Humanity is the only species with intellectual and spiritual intelligence on a spiritual path and a quest for truth.

Humanity is alone on the path of spiritual awakening.

Physical substances, such as the Earth and our fleshly bodies, are absent of wisdom, intelligence, truth, and holy spiritual power.”

Foxwood presents these beliefs to you as preventing you from becoming one with creation. I suggest that this week you reflect on these negative spells in your journal. Are you under any of them? Letting go of them, should that eventually be your Free Will choice, opens you up not only to the faery races but also to the ‘wizard within’ which can carry you beyond all limitations and help you to walk backward into the realm of infinite possibilities and a reconnection with your original innocence.

Walking backward inevitably leads to time spent in the Void. Just as in meditation we surrender and trust, so too do we do this in the Void. Surrendering to the Void means just Being. No plans. No purpose. It is a state of ‘not knowing’ where we are going and therefore is a lesson in total surrender. A time of trust and faith in our Higher Selves, our Angels and our Creator. When my clients are in the Void I counsel them to avoid filling the Void just for the sake of filling it to avoid the feeling of emptiness. If we, in our uncomfortableness with our not knowing, begin to prematurely fill up just to fill the holes or to have ‘something to hang our hat on’ rather than waiting patiently in our Being state, then we risk filling up again with things of our ‘old’ selves because we have not been patient so that our ‘new’ things and ways of being can manifest into form. Learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable and living with uncertainty. The Angels always have your back! Ask them to surround you and to let you know of their presence. Relax, surrender, lean on the Angels and practice what I talked about last week. Allow.

In the ‘new’ world that you and I are creating together with our Creator we no longer push ourselves through anything. We no longer rush. We use our time and energy wisely and efficiently. When the time does come to ‘act’ it flows effortlessly because our energies are aligned with our vision/s. Once we have visited the Void a few times – it becomes a delicious place to be, because we are just Being ourselves in the present moment. The Void becomes a place of our becoming. The place where we learn to let go of the drama and duality of the old 3D way of being on Earth and we rest for our eventual moving into the ‘new.’  Remember though, this journey is not linear.

As our consciousness changes our ‘reality’ changes. As Wayne Dyer always reminded us – “when we change the way we look at things the things we look at change.” Keep walking backward and return to innocence.

Love & Light,  Monica


Join the discussion 2 comments

  1. Gillian June 15, 2017 at 3:13 pm Reply

    Walking backwards felt… tentative. 🙂 Good post!

  2. hayley June 15, 2017 at 5:41 pm Reply

    Wow, you really bring the experience of walking backward to life beautifully and poetically, what a spiritual and literary gift- thanks! 🙂

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